


It's 2am and I'm in love with you

by cowboystan



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Group chat, I'm treating it kind of like discord, Identity Issues, M/M, Multi, Texting, Trans Character, Trans Kenny McCormick, chat fic, mentioned homophobia and transphobia, they are all about 8-9th grade here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboystan/pseuds/cowboystan
Summary: Chats between the kids about identity, love, and other junk.





	1. idk if I like like him

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it would be fun to write a chat fic since dialogue is all I really know how to write.  
> This is just for funsies to relieve stress and also to give some of my ideas a place to live so I hope you enjoy :)

DM @Stan  
Today at 2:46 am

Stan:  
Hey dude  
You up?

Kyle:  
Barely but yeah  
What’s going on

Stan:  
I’m sorry man

Kyle:  
For what?

Stan:  
idk everything?  
I just  
Ur so important to me and I’m such an asshole sometimes dude  
I just wanted to say sorry for like  
Not being the super best super best friend I could be

Kyle:  
Stan.

Stan:  
??  
You’ve been typing a while ..

Kyle:  
You are not an asshole. You are one of the most caring people I know. You are amazing and talented and strong, and I would do anything to make you realize just how worthy of love and respect you are. You are the best super best friend I, or anyone, could ever ask for. If anyone is an asshole, it’s cartman, dude.

Stan:  
thanks dude  
: )

Stan:  
I love u..

Kyle:  
np  
Goodnight, stan.

 

___________

 

DM @Kenny  
Today at 3:05 am

Kyle:  
ughhhh

Kenny:  
yeah?

Kyle:  
UGHH

Kenny:  
yeahhh  
tell me about it 

Kyle:  
sorry, it’s just. A lot. To deal with.

Kenny:  
is this about stan

Kyle:  
why would that be your automatic assumption.

Kenny:  
you only come to me when you can’t go to ur super bf first  
So what’s up

Kyle:  
...Hhhhffff  
You’re right, it’s Stan. 

Kenny:  
mhmm????

Kyle:  
he said “I love you” again.  
It’s possible that it was from lack of sleep and he wasn’t totally conscious of what he was saying but god,  
It really messes with my head man.  
I just have a lot of emotions and no way to let them out. 

Kenny:  
and these emotions...  
Are they? “Best friend” emotions??  
ooooor…👀

 

Kyle:  
dude! Kenny I’m serious! I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  
He’s only said it to me like 4 times but each time I get more and more fucked up over it. It’s like, a tight feeling in my throat, like my body forgets how to work for a second.  
And I can never find a way to respond!  
I  
I don’t know!

Kenny:  
that sucks man  
But I get what u mean  
It’s like  
He says he loves you but you know it’s not the same way you love him  
Like maybe he doesn’t love you enough  
Or your scared that you love him too much  
Idk

Kyle:  
woah.  
Kenny do you have a crush on someone?

Kenny:  
god I sure do  
It’s terrible  
Love is stupid

Kyle:  
that’s great! But yeah..  
Who is it?

Kenny:  
psh like I’m gonna tell you 

Kyle:  
What is that supposed to mean?!

Kenny:  
if I tell u you’ll tell stan and stan will tell Wendy and whoever the fuck else and then the whole school will know in no time  
Nuh uh I’m keeping my lips sealed

Kyle:  
whatever. It’s probably Butters 

Kenny:  
WUHJJDJFFF

Kyle:  
you’re not like, subtle dude.

Kenny:  
BUT U GUESSED SO QUICKLY

Kyle:  
you should totally ask him out I’m sure he would be ecstatic.

Kenny:  
omg I can’t do that

Kyle:  
why not?

Kenny:  
fine ask stan out

Kyle:  
WHAT?!

Kenny:  
you’re so in love with him that my existence is to be like the perpetual third wheel 

Kyle:  
what about Cartman!

Kenny:  
what ABOUT cartman 

Kyle:  
....You're right.  
But I don’t even know if I like,  
LIKE stan.  
You know?

Kenny:  
Well  
GL dude I don’t have a clear solution I think this is something u hav to ride out yourself  
But u can always gush to me if u need

Kyle:  
Thanks.

Kenny:  
👍👍

 

___________

 

GC: Gender isn’t even real  
Today at 6:23 pm

Kenny:  
Hey guys just got my paycheck anyone wanna go shopping later 💁💄👀

Stan:  
Sure where were u thinking?

Kenny:  
Denver mall  
That’s where all the good stuff is  
I wanna get some pink shit

Stan:  
That’s cool  
I need some new sneakers anyway 

Kyle:  
What time are you thinking?  
I can’t do stuff Friday bc my parents are gone and I gotta watch Ike.  
But I’m free Sat and Sun.

Kenny:  
Saturday’s cool  
I wanna go as soon as possible tho tbh I’m getting sick of getting misgendered so often

Stan:  
Did smth happen?

Kenny:  
Nothing new  
Just the usual customer take-backsies after a second glance 

Stan:  
Oof

Kenny:  
Anyway  
I’ve been waiting for this check for months tbh  
I’ve been saving up so that I could go out and get some new clothes for a while now so I’m really excited actually 😚💕  
So excited that I sorta maybe came out to butters on the fly yesterday?? Lmao

Stan:  
Woah dude seriously ?!

Kyle:  
What did he say?

Kenny:  
I don’t think he totally gets it but he’s super supportive anyway  
He even said I could borrow his stuff sometimes if I wanted since he has a small collection of skirts and some makeup which is cool

Stan:  
That’s awesome  
See I told u he would be supportive 

Kenny:  
U were right  
I knew he would be but there’s always like  
The small chance for everyone that they won’t be which is when it gets scary  
I legit didn’t tell u guys until like a year later bc I was scared of what u would say haha 

Stan:  
I know but we are always here for you dude 

Kenny:  
Thanks  
ANYWAY 💅  
I heard Wendy asked you to go on a vacay w her and her family  
What’s w that

Stan:  
I honestly have no idea  
We haven’t dated in years and it was so out of the blue  
Jimmy thinks that she might be trying to get back together

Kyle:  
And..?

Stan:  
Idk I’m like just not into her anymore.  
She’s cool and all to hang out w as a friend but she’s honestly like the worst when ur in a relationship with her.  
Plus like  
I uh

Kenny:  
?

Stan:  
I’m gay

Kyle:  
Oh

Stan:  
I sorta started to realize that like after our last big break up  
Our relationship just never really worked out but I always went back to it and I stared to think about it a lot  
Idk it’s a lot to type but like I think I was subconsciously trying to prove that I was a man or something and part of that was ignoring my feelings and having a girlfriend even if I didn’t want one  
But yeah,,  
I think I’m gay  
Your the first ones I’ve told  
Sorry I’m bad at explaining  
Thanks for letting me talk this has been weighing on me for a while...

Kyle:  
Holy shit dude..  
I had...no idea this was happening.  
I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.

Stan:  
It’s ok  
I was  
Scared to tell anyone  
It’s stupid bc ur my best friend and I should be able to tell you anything but just like Kenny said I had a small part of me that was afraid  
But now u know so

Kenny:  
Congrats on coming out dude!🎉🎉🎉  
This was a rly good first step  
I’m glad u told us that was super brave of you 😊😍😘

Stan:  
Thanks Kenny : )  
Wow I feel way better tbh  
I should have done this sooner 

Kenny:  
Ikr

Kyle:  
I’m really happy for you stan. : )

Stan:  
Thanks Kyle <3


	2. Are you having a maybe crush right now

DM@ stan  
Today at 1:32 am

Kyle:   
Hey stan?

Stan:  
Yeah?

Kyle:  
I wanted to ask something.  
You don’t have to answer if you feel uncomfortable but..

Stan:   
Dude it’s np  
Shoot.

Kyle:   
How did you know that you were gay?  
I mean, no that’s a stupid question, but...  
What made you realize it?

Stan:   
Oh..  
Well I guess it was a lot of things that just kept building up...  
My last breakup with Wendy was just when all the pieces sort of started to fit together

Kyle:   
What kinds of things?

Stan:  
Ummmm  
Well...  
Do you remember Gary Harrison?

Kyle:   
Uhh the Mormon kid from 4th grade?

Stan:   
yeah.  
He was sorta my first real crush.

Kyle:  
What! Really?!

Stan:  
Yeah but I didn’t realize that at the time  
I just felt confused..  
He was so nice to me and was just a really cool dude and it made me feel something and I couldn’t explain it  
I realize now that I liked him but that was like a pretty major moment for me in realizing that I like dudes I think.

Kyle:  
Huh

Stan:   
Sorry for dumping this stuff on you.  
I know u asked but I’m kind of relieved that I get to tell you this stuff now so let me know if I’m too chatty

Kyle:  
It’s totally fine! Keep going!

Stan:   
Cool ok  
Uhm  
Another major one was when they added the transgender bathroom to the school bc cartman was pretending to be trans. 

Kyle:  
Why?

Stan:  
Well after Wendy got a key to the bathroom cartman got really pissed and he came up to me and said that Wendy was going around saying that she was a dude and that that made me gay and??  
Idk I got...scared   
I couldn’t just shrug off that comment even if it was cartman saying it   
And I started to get a little confused bc what if I do like guys? Does that make me really a girl?   
I had no idea what to do with myself   
That’s why I got a key to the trans bathroom too cus I didn’t know what I was feeling.

Kyle:  
Woah

Stan:  
There’s lots of little stuff too like meeting big gay al, Craig and tweek getting together, being a  
Uh  
Other stuff.

Kyle:  
Okay  
Thanks.

Stan:  
Is something up?

Kyle:  
Um not really..

Stan:  
BS ur being a little weird dude 

Kyle:  
Hrmm  
...promise not to tell anyone.

Stan:  
Dude I cross my heart!  
We’re best friends the least we should be able to do is unload our feelings to each other.

Kyle:  
Okay  
I’m...  
Kind of starting to question if I’m straight.

Stan:  
:O

Kyle:  
And I just wanted to know what made you realize you weren’t.  
I guess I thought that hearing your story might spark something but...  
I’m still just as unsure as I was before, if not more so.

Stan:  
I mean it’s kind of simple?  
Have you ever had feelings for a dude before?

Kyle:   
Maybe. I’m not sure..

Stan:   
Ur not sure?

Kyle:  
I still don’t know if I like him yet

Stan:   
WAIT  
Hold up!  
Are you having a maybe crush on someone right now?!!

Kyle:  
I...guess?

Stan:  
Is it someone we know?!

Kyle:  
...yeah??

Stan:  
!!!!!!  
Wait.  
If you say it’s cartman i s2g

Kyle:   
EW  
DUDE NO!  
I WOULD NEVER HAVE FEELINGS FOR FATASS!!!

Stan:  
Ok good just checking 

Kyle:  
I should kill you just for suggesting it

Stan:   
Lmao   
Who is it then?  
Someone in our class?

Kyle:  
...yeah.

Stan:  
WHO

Kyle:  
I  
I don’t know if I’m comfortable saying yet.

Stan:   
Oh   
I mean   
That’s cool you should take some time to figure stuff out sorry for pushing u

Kyle:  
It’s fine.

Stan:  
But if u ever do feel comfortable pls tell me right away so I can kick his ass lmao

Kyle:  
Haha  
Thanks Stan :)

Stan:  
Np dude ;)  
Gn

Kyle:  
Goodnight

2:30 am

Stan:  
Is it Token

Kyle:  
Stan! Go to bed!

___________

 

GC: Heavily Implied Stan  
Today at 12:56 pm

Dry Bones has added Kyle to the chat!

Kyle:   
what

Shyguy:   
Do you like stan or nah

Kyle:  
Oh my god...  
Why is this all anyone is asking me lately?

Dry Bones:  
Bc ur so obvious????

Boo:   
But you’re also one of the straightest people we’ve met so it’s hard to pass judgment 

Kyle:  
Okay first.  
Who is in this chat?

Dry Bones:  
Just me craig and tweek

Kyle:  
And who is who?  
I’m assuming Dry Bones is Kenny since neither Craig or Tweek have my number.

Shyguy:  
Guess

Boo:  
I’m tweek

Shyguy:  
Damn it

Kyle:  
Ok so I know you guys and Kenny chat often and like to gossip and shit, but honestly, I don’t care much for people talking about me behind my back.

Dry Bones:  
Woah chill out Kyle   
We’ve had this chat since like 4th grade and even then we were sus about u and stan  
This is nothing new lol   
Any developments regarding that are now left in your hands as the new member of the chat!! 🎉🎉🎉

Kyle:  
No thanks.

Boo:  
He needs a name!

Dry Bones:  
Ur right!  
Hmmm

Shyguy:   
What about chain chomp

Kyle:  
Why.

Shyguy:  
Idk ur auras match 

Boo:  
Lmao

Dry Bones changed Kyle’s name to Chain Chomp

Chain Chomp:  
Jesus.  
Why am I here again 

Dry Bones:  
u said you’ve been having a lot of confusing feelings lately and I thought it would be better to bring in some professionals 

Shyguy:  
And by professionals she means us

Boo:  
We aren’t professionals please don’t hold us to that 

Shyguy:  
Professional gays. That’s us.

Chain Chomp:  
Okay..  
That’s nice of you but I really don’t want anyone’s help with this.   
I think it’s just something that I have to figure out myself.  
I have to get to class.

Boo:  
Oh shit! Me too!

Shyguy:   
Noooooo

Dry Bones:  
:(  
Okaaay  
But ur a part of this chat now so if I ever wanna get some advice we’re here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we love kyle identity issues


	3. I wanna be the flower girl at your wedding

GC: ugly bitch disease   
Today at 10:38am

Kyle:  
CARTMAN!!   
I SWEAR TO GOD! IF YOU DON’T KEEP YOU’RE FUCKING MOUTH SHUT I AM GOING RIP YOUR DICK OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Stan:   
Woah

Kenny:  
What did he do now

Eric:  
Well if you MUST know~

Kyle:  
D O N T

Eric:  
I walked into the bathroom this morning and I ran into Kyle~  
And you’ll never guess wut he was doing..

Kyle:  
Cartman.  
I will give you one. more. chance.

Stan:   
It’s ok Kyle he’s an idiot we won’t believe him anyway

Kyle:  
But!

Eric:  
He was practicing saying I love you to the mirror it was SOOOOO fucking stupid LMAO

Kyle:  
Don’t sleep tonight Cartman.

Stan:   
Come on dude that’s not that embarrassing   
It’s like practicing a smile in the mirror

Eric:   
If he tried that the mirror would shatter

Kyle:  
STFU!

Stan:   
What were you practicing that for anyway?  
!!!  
Are u going to confess to your maybe crush  
Is he a real crush now!!

Kyle:  
NO! It’s not like that..

Eric:  
Ew the jew has a crush?   
Not surprised it’s a dude tho I knew u were a fag

Stan:  
Whatever cartman you are too

Eric:   
I AM NOT A FAG U FUCKIN FAG!!

Stan:  
Wow great comeback 

Eric:  
Fuck you!

Stan:  
Oh yeah I guess I didn’t tell u yet but I’m gay 

Eric:  
Finally owning up to ur title I see

Stan:  
Nah man for real.

Eric:   
Wut??  
Shut up

Stan:  
I’m serious 

Eric:  
Shut. Up.

Stan:  
Yeah.

Eric:  
Well congratulations stan   
How does it feel to take dick 

Stan:  
I wouldn’t know. how does it feel to suck dick

Eric:  
THAT WAS ONE TIME

Stan:  
Doubt.

Eric:  
OK IT WAS TWICE BUT NEITHER OF THEM COUNT 

Kenny:  
If you put a dick in your mouth and suck it I’m pretty sure it counts.

Eric:  
STFU KENNY U STUPID BITCH WUT DO U KNOW

Kenny:  
One of those dicks was mine 

Eric:  
FUCKU

Kenny:  
No thanks.

Stan:  
Lol

Eric:  
I fucking hate u guys

___________

 

GC: gender isn’t even real  
Today at 11:04

Stan:  
Anyways I hav some news about the whole Wendy thing   
I’m moving to this chat bc I don’t wanna deal with cartman’s shit right now 

Kyle:   
Thank god.

Kenny:  
Did she mention the vacation thing again??

Stan:  
Yeah  
She came up to me after math and asked about if I wanted to go w them again.  
But before I could answer she stared talking about how like she misses us and that I’ve grown a lot since we were last together and that she thinks we should give it another shot.

Kenny:  
Ooof

Stan:  
Which like honestly?? Pisses me off a little  
She acted like I was the weak part of the relationship and that if only I had been more mature it would have been perfect which is absolute BS and EXACTLY why I hated being with her in the first place!  
Other than..yknow...being gay and all that stuff BUT STILL

Kyle:  
She’s kind of a bitch Stan Idk what you expect.

Stan:  
It’s just so FRUSTRATING  
I just want her to chill out for like one second!

Kenny:  
What did you say to her 

Stan:   
I told her that I didn’t want to get back together and that I don’t have feelings for her anymore.  
Then she got all pissed at me and told me that I could forget about going to Florida with her and her parents and stormed off

Kyle:  
Wow what is wrong with her?

Stan:  
I honestly have no idea   
I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with her anymore 

Kenny:  
She’s crazy dude..  
Tbh even if you told her that ur gay she would probably think that ur just saying that to get back at her or smth 

Stan:  
I know  
Jfc

Kyle:  
When was she asking for you to go on the trip with her and her parents?

Stan:  
Spring break

Kyle:   
Well since you’re definitely not doing that..  
Do you want to go on one with me and Ike?  
We are visiting a relative over spring break who lives in Michigan. It’s not Florida but...

Stan:  
That would be sweet! Lm ask my parents real quick 

Kyle:  
Cool!

Stan:  
How long would it be?

Kyle:  
About 5 days.

Stan:  
They said I can go

Kyle:  
Awesome

Kenny:  
I wish I could go..

Kyle:  
Oh... I’m sorry dude.

Kenny:  
Nah it’s fine I already hav some plans made anyway ;)

Kyle:  
With butters?

Kenny:  
...........yes.

Kyle:  
That’s great! 

Stan:  
Are u guys a thing yet

Kenny:  
U TOO??!!!

Kyle:  
I told you you’re not subtle dude

Stan:  
Yeah I knew you had a crush on him since like 5th grade   
I didn’t even realize it was a secret 

Kenny:  
Oof ow  
My heart  
You guys suck

Stan:  
Lol  
Speaking of sucking

Kenny:  
Yeeeees??? ;)))

Stan:  
Sorry to turn back to drama but uhh  
My dad fucking sucks ass

Kenny:  
Ohh..

Kyle:  
god what did he do now.

Stan:  
Ok so when I was asking to go on the trip with u and Ike my mom said yes immediately but my dad was rly hesitant and was like “with Kyle?” And I was like “yeah why?” And he was all like “oh no reason” and tried to like get my mom to not let me go 

Kyle:  
Wtf?

Stan:  
Ikr  
Honesty I think my dad knows that I’m gay  
I think that he’s known for like a really long time before I even knew   
whenever I would exhibit any kind of behavior that could be considered feminine or gay he would try to stop it somehow and he still does that sometimes .  
I think he’s noticed that I haven’t been listening to him a lot more than usual lately and he’s on edge   
And for some reason whenever you get mentioned he gets even more on edge 

Kyle:  
That’s super fucked dude. I’ve known you and been to your house since we were like babies.

Stan:  
Yeah.

Kenny:  
Can’t imagine why he would worry about his gay son and his son’s super best friend since birth going on a week long trip to the middle of the woods together 👀👀👀

Stan:  
Shut up dude

Kyle:  
Shut it dude

Kenny:  
👀🤔💋😮👏👍

Stan:  
Omg stop we are just friends 

Kyle:  
Oh my god we are just friends

Kenny:  
Hmmmm...  
sus

Kyle:  
No it’s not!

Stan:  
Kenny ur sick 

Kenny:  
W/e you’ll thank me at ur wedding   
I want to be the flower girl btw 

Stan:  
What? No way the flower girl can’t be an old lady   
It’s gonna be like Karen or tweek and Craig’s future adopted lovechild or smth 

Kyle:  
Stan!

Stan:  
lol sorry I’m just joking 

Kenny:  
Sure u were bud 😏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cartman has ugly bitch disease


	4. I made a list of crush candidates

DM @Kenny  
Today at 1:40 am

Stan:  
I feel like I’m melting 

Kenny:  
Yeah?

Stan:  
I’m so gay I think I might be dying..

Kenny:  
Oh boy   
That’s a mood  
GL with that lol

Stan: uughhg

___________

GC: gender isn’t even real  
Today at 5:35 pm

Stan:  
Hey Kyle 

Kyle:  
Yeah

Stan:  
Do you really have a crush on someone from our class??

Kyle:  
..yeah?  
At least I might have a crush idk yet.  
Why?

Stan:  
Idk I’ve just been watching u all day and you don’t seem to be acting that different around anyone 

Kyle:  
You were watching me all day?

Stan:  
Well ya but it was for a good cause  
I couldn’t really tell who it was that you like but I’ve made a list of the top 5 possible candidates 

Kyle:  
Oh my god   
Stan!

Kenny:   
🙄

Stan:  
Ok listen I know u don’t want to talk about who it is but it’s all I can think about and its taking up most of my already short attention span so I need to figure out who it is or I might die  
So here’s my list

Kyle:  
Jesus Christ 

Kenny:  
Stan ur wildin

Stan:  
From most likely to least likely:  
Token  
Jimmy  
Scott  
Me  
Cartman

Kyle:  
Why is cartman even on the list?

Stan:  
Idk I ran out of ideas after the first few and just added cartman as a joke   
Tbh you don’t really hang out with too many people haha

Kyle:  
What about you?

Stan:  
Me??  
Oh that’s a joke too lol bc I’m around u more than like anyone lmao

Kyle:  
I guess.

Stan:  
It’s not for real lmao

Kyle:  
Sure.

Kenny:  
I feel like I’m a side character in a drama

Stan:  
Soooo  
Am I close

Kyle:  
Well he’s on your list so I guess you kind of are..

Stan:  
!!!!!!  
hell yeah!  
Is it Token?!

Kyle:  
No!

Stan:  
Then it’s jimmy?

Kyle:   
Omg  
I know what you’re doing and I’m not going to tell you who it is.

Stan:  
It’s jimmy!!!!!

Kyle:  
STAN. STOP.

Stan:  
Omg wait til I tell himm

Kyle:  
Stan Marsh you will tell him no such thing!

Stan:  
Fine  
I get it  
...  
Jimmy would totally go out w you tho TBH

Kyle:  
Stan I do not care.  
I’m done talking about this.

Stan:  
I’m starting to think it’s token again...

Kyle:  
Oh my god!

Stan:  
Ok ok I’ll stop

Kyle:  
Good.

Stan:  
But like if I asked token if he liked you and he said yes would u date him

Kyle:  
Bye.

Kenny:  
🙃

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kenny is a trooper and a queen


	5. I need your ....

GC: clyde stop being a bitch  
Today at 7:45 pm

Jimmy:  
Did anyone notice Stan today?

Token:  
What do you mean?

Craig:  
I did

Clyde:  
Wat was he doin

Jimmy:  
Well I can’t say for certain, but I think he was trying to stalk Kyle..  
It was...a little weird

Token:  
Why?

Craig:  
Stan thinks that Kyle has a crush on someone in the class

Token:  
Doesn’t Kyle like Stan though?

Craig:  
Stan is stupid

Clyde:  
And doesn’t stan like kyle too

Craig:  
They’re both stupid 

Jimmy:  
That explains why I felt like he was glaring at me when I was talking to Kyle today.

Craig:   
Ya apparently Stan made a list 

Token:  
Oh boy..

Clyde:  
Of wut

Tweek:  
The people stan thinks Kyle might have a crush on

Craig:  
Hey babe

Tweek:  
Hey :^)

Craig:  
I miss u 

Tweek:  
You just saw me two hours ago!

Craig:  
I know but I love u

Tweek:  
Awww I love you too ❤️

Craig:  
: )

Clyde:  
Excuse me !  
how do u 2 kno all this??

Tweek:  
Kenny

Craig:  
Kenny

Token:  
Of course.

Clyde:  
So?  
Whos on the list??

Craig:  
Token and jimmy are the top two 

Token:  
What?

Jimmy:  
Wow! 

Clyde:  
Wat about me?!

Craig:   
Nonexistent.

Clyde:  
Rude

Token:  
It’s okay Clyde if it makes you feel any better this just means that Kyle doesn’t like you.

Clyde:  
But everyone likes me!!

Craig:  
No they don’t 

Token:  
Be nice.

Tweek:  
Trust me Clyde I think it’s better ur not on the list 

Jimmy:  
Idk fellas I think Kyle is a pretty nice guy when he isn’t provoked!  
I’m actually kind of flattered that I’m on the list :)

Token:  
Would you go out with him?

Jimmy:  
Oh hell no. 

Craig:  
Mmmmhm

Jimmy:   
He’s still a great guy! He’s just...  
A lot to be around a good chunk of the time.

Token:  
That’s what I thought.

Jimmy:  
Also I don’t want stan to kill me lol

Clyde:  
Why doesn’t anyone like me?

___________

 

GC: ugly bitch disease   
Today at 2:05

Kyle:  
Oh stan I want you

Stan:  
What?

Kyle:  
I want you so bad I can’t take it anymore 

Stan:  
Dude wtf is going on

Kyle:  
I need your cock

Kenny:  
Woahoho!  
Down boy

Kyle:  
Stan I’m so horny for you I want you fuck me pleasessfk

Kyle:  
OH MY GOD.  
I’m SO sorry you guys that was Ike!  
I walked out of the room for like a second and he got into my phone!

Kenny:  
Aw man things were just getting good

Kyle:   
Oh.  
Ohhhh my god.  
I’m so sorry stan!  
Are you okay?

Stan:  
Y eah   
I’m  
Fine dw about it 

Kenny:  
😏

Kyle:   
Don’t listen to him he just wanted to embarrass me.

Stan:  
Nah nah it’s cool I get it 

Kyle:  
I’m really sorry.

Stan:  
Kyle it’s not your fault this isn’t the first time Ike’s pulled shit like this   
Don’t worry about it   
Really.

Kyle:  
Okay.  
Cool.  
I don’t...  
Want you.  
I mean I want you as a friend but not like..  
You know.

Stan:  
I got it Kyle.

Kyle:  
Right.  
Yeah.  
Um...  
I’m just going to go kick his ass real quick.

Stan:  
Go get em

 

DM @Kenny  
Today at 2:23

Kenny:  
Hey you good? Lmao

Stan:  
I think I just had a heart attack .

Kenny:  
LMAO

Stan:  
I just experienced my greatest desire followed by my greatest fear in the span of like 10 sec and I can’t breathe anymore

Kenny:  
Hfdff  
It was rly funny

Stan:  
You suck at making me feel better

Kenny:  
That’s not what I’m here for

Stan:  
And what is it that ur here for then?

Kenny:  
To enjoy the show 😎

Stan:  
Fuck oofff I’m literally dying rn and you’re only here to feed off my drama

Kenny:  
As is written in our contract of friendship 

Stan:  
Omg

 

DM @Eric  
Today at 2:23

Eric:  
Wut the fuck was that

Kyle:  
What?

Eric:  
In the gc just now

Kyle:   
God it was nothing Ike just got in my phone..  
I s2g if you try to use that as blackmail I will dropkick your ass so hard!

Eric:  
That’s not wut I meant u dumb jew 

Kyle:  
Then what the fuck do you want.

Eric:  
“I don’t...want you(...)I want you as a friend”  
How fucking pathetic can u get   
I’m srsly that’s the weakest no homo I’ve ever seen

Kyle:  
Shut the fuck up cartman it wasn’t a no homo

Eric:  
UH   
Yah it was  
You can pretend that that was Ike talking or w/e but even if it was u can’t hide how fucking hot u have it for Stan  
Like it’s literally so obvious it’s disgusting 

Kyle:  
What are you jealous 

Eric:  
as if.  
I just think stan could do soo much better than a sniveling dirty jew bitch like u

Kyle:  
You’re so full of it Cartman.

Eric:  
You’ll see  
He thinks he likes u now but once he starts to date you he’ll realize his mistake and drop u faster than a hand full of steaming hot shit

Kyle:  
Fuck off and die.

Eric:  
Btw game night at my house next week bring that new catan expansion 

Kyle:   
K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year everybody! : )


	6. I like him more than a super best friend

GC: heavily implied Stan  
Today at 5:23 pm

Dry bones:   
so then butters was like “you sit back down right now or so help me I will make you!” And I was like  
Okay King...💦💦

Shyguy:   
gross

Dry bones:   
u gotta admit its pretty hot,,

Shyguy:   
ken there is no universe in existence where I could ever look at butters and think that he is “hot”

Dry bones:   
fuck u he’s totally ur type too !

Shyguy:   
just bc tweek is blond doesn’t mean that that’s my type  
I don’t even have a type

Boo:   
what about Thomas?  
He was blond too...

Shyguy:   
I didn’t even date Thomas

Boo:   
but you wanted to

Shyguy:   
sure but that doesn’t prove anything. I liked him bc I thought he was a cool person, not bc he was blond

Dry bones:   
👀👀👀 sus...

Shyguy:   
die.

Boo:   
lol

Chain chomp:   
uhhh...  
Hey, guys.

Dry bones:   
Oh heyyyyy!!! 😃😚😝

Boo:   
I forgot he was here...

Shyguy:   
me too

Dry bones:   
what’s up Kyle

Chain chomp:   
yeahhhhh...  
Um I’m only really here because I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this so...  
I...  
I like Stan.  
I think.  
Yeah...

Dry bones:   
you think??

Chain chomp:   
no I mean...  
I do.  
Like him.  
Like  
As more than a best friend 

Dry bones:   
more than a suuuper best friend???

Chain chomp:   
...yes

Dry bones:   
WOHOO! Congrats Kyle! 🎉🎉🎉

Shyguy:   
well I totally didn’t see this coming

Chain chomp:   
Shut up Craig. And no! Kenny! This is a problem!!

Dry bones:   
??? Wdym this is great! You guys are so perfect for each other !!

Chain chomp:   
No! I can’t like my best friend like that it’s totally weird dude!   
If Stan finds out he’ll nEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!

Dry bones:   
Kyle. Chill out. Breath.  
Stan would never do that to you.  
In fact I think he is physically unable to not talk to you ever. 

Chain chomp:   
but dude! You saw how he reacted to what Ike sent! He was totally weirded out by it!

Dry bones:   
no offense but I think u were the one who made it weird  
Stan was just caught off guard man

Chain chomp:   
but!

Dry Bones:   
no butts mister! 

Shyguy:   
god that was such a butters thing to say

Dry bones:   
I think you should tell him how you feel. I know it’s scary but the worst that could happen is that he says no and you continue where you are. Even if things get weird for a little bit after you two will bounce right back in no time I’m sure of it.

Chain chomp:   
I’m just afraid of losing him..  
He’s my best friend in the whole world. I don’t know what I would do if he left for good.

Dry bones:   
remember Kyle he’s not just your best friend.   
You’re his best friend too  
And I’m 1000% certain he doesn’t want to lose you either. 

Chain chomp:  
...maybe you’re right.  
I’ll think about it.  
Thanks ken.

Dry bones:   
np Kyle  
Now go get u some mans!

Shyguy:   
well that was something 

Boo:   
we didn’t even do anything..   
He could hav just dm’d you!

Dry bones:   
maybe he felt like he needed to say it to more than just one person

Boo:   
a terrible decision to tell us tho  
We can’t keep our fucking mouths shut

Shyguy:   
I live and breath other peoples drama 

Boo:   
like a leech 

Shyguy:   
I will suck your blood 

Dry bones:   
kinky 

Shyguy:   
you’re next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty short.. I will defo do more soon tho dw 
> 
> Also thank you for all the kudos and wonderful comments! It makes my day :)


End file.
